Here is my tale.
Once upon a time, there was a blogger, who had been blogging for several years and had created a nice little home on the internet. She’d been through a rough period in her life and blogging had given her a spot to sort through it and figure things out.
It also allowed her to meet many amazing women; women who, like her, were at home, raising small children. She also found wisdom from other women who had already raised their children and were sharing their knowledge with the young ‘uns.
And the internet was beautiful. Rainbows and sparkles and sunshine abounded.
After residing in her safe blogging meadow for nearly two years, she, “Fairy Tale Blogger” (Fairy Tale), was invited to a blogger luncheon at the home of a woman whom she deeply admired and respected. She was so excited and nervous; she had never met any of the other bloggers, and wasn’t familiar with them or their blogs.
It was at this luncheon that she met a blogger who has had a great impact on her life ever since.
“Charming Blogger” (Charming) came from the blogging forest. She came across as funny, smart and slightly shy. They struck up a conversation and over the days and weeks that followed, they became friends; chatting via gmail and phone for hours, almost daily.
Before too long, Charming asked Fairy Tale if she would design a header for a new site she was creating, and would she also mind discussing a new idea she had swirling around in that charming head of hers.
One conversation lead to another and soon, they were brainstorming names for an online women’s magazine. (Fairy Tale was proud of the fact that she came up with the name ultimately chosen). Fairy Tale began designing a layout for the site and the corresponding forum, while Charming approached people who would be valuable assets (In other words: people who knew people.) Many play-date meetings took place at Charming’s home while they were both feverishly working on the magazine, knowing it would be a success and they would be set in the Land of the Internets. They knew they’d found their golden ticket. They placed their hopes and dreams into the project.
Just about every waking hour was spent committed to seeing this happen. Somehow, among these two bloggers, babies were nursed, babies were born, children were schooled, families were moved, dinners were prepared…
Along the way, the discussion came up about making their partnership legal. Charming would have her attorney draft papers that made Fairy Tale a 50/50 partner and co-founder, not just in name, but legally.
Unfortunately, they were both broke at the time; but Fairy Tale completely trusted Charming, and was fine with waiting until it was financially feasible to have the papers drawn.
Fairy Tale was content working on the technical side of things and managing all of the writers and editing posts (her on-site title was “Managing Editor”) while Charming danced in the tweet stream and generated interest.
Both Fairy Tale and Charming brought things to the table: Fairy Tale knew many brilliant bloggers from her days of blogging in the meadow, and Charming knew many brilliant bloggers from her side of the forest. Along the way, they met other brilliant people. People who helped redesign the site, after it was apparent that it was going to be a success. People who had amazing ideas about topics.
All of us were willing to work for free. Because we knew it would be a success.
At some point, the decision was made that they would try to start a blogging conference to go along with this magazine. Was it possible? Could they do it? They didn’t have that experience… But when you have a dream — anything is possible.
Then one day *POOF* Fairy Tale met their fairy godmother; someone who had a background in “the business”. *nice contact — tuck that one away*
Fairy Tale was asked to speak at a local BlogHer event that October. When that conference was canceled, Fairy and Charming decided to swoop in and save the day. People had already purchased plane tickets and reserved their hotel rooms. They could be like the knights in shining armour!!!
Fairy introduced “Friend In the business” (FITB) to Charming and she was called upon to help out. After all, she had connections and experience with event planning.
Despite the fact that Fairy started noticing less talk about “we” or “us” and more talk about “me” and “I”, she remained true to the course and shoved aside any worries. After all — Charming was her friend. She’d never had a friend like Charming. Ever.
Eventually, the conference went off very well and the official one was on track for the following February, with the help of “FITB”.
However, Charming became increasingly demanding and less patient with Fairy Tales
But I’ve become that person. The one who can’t move on. Who can’t forgive. Who is bitter. Who is a victim.
I never wanted to be any of those people. I’d already successfully dealt with that on another issue. And I’d tried to deal with this one, shortly after it happened. I have struggled with thoughts that I am the worst sort of Christian – the sort who points fingers and doesn’t examine themselves.
sheep photo credit
It was ugly in a lot of ways. She and I were IRL friends and I spent so much time at her home, hours and hours and hours and weeks and days getting those two things off the ground. A year and a half of my life (with a tiny newborn and three small kidlets). Wasted.
I’m working on a post about it. Two years later and I still hurt so much from it. She on the other hand reaps all the accolades and rewards from my hard work (she worked hard too, but stood on my shoulders)
yeah… I’m bitter…
So I totally appreciate prayers for healing. Esp before I embarrass the crap out of myself in my bitterness…