I keep waiting for the day when my ease for words and writing returns to me.
Waiting…countless days, which turn into weeks. Adding up to months. And years…
They used to flow effortlessly, easily. Type, spell check, publish.
Yet so much has happened since those days of effortless writing. So much that I’m not allowed to discuss. At least not yet.
Some of the reasons are legal and have to do with my divorce.
Other reasons only pertained to my reputation.
Whatever that means.
I’m learning to care less about that. Most of those who I thought I wanted to let in, were angered the few times that I did share my story. Regardless of how they would have reacted in the same situation, it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.
It’s difficult. I want to be able to use my words again. To use my voice.
But my voice has changed. I don’t know if anyone will recognize it. Or if they want to.
And so I wait.
And type out more words. Hopeful that, eventually, my voice will be understood.