Catching Up – Happy Fall, Y’all!

Oh my, y’all… I try to keep snippets of stuff updated over here, but I’ve been busy with client work and focusing on writing for our professional blog.

So… HEY!!

Just to bring everyone up to speed, in no particular order:

~ I finally (!!!!!!) got my IUD out. My ANA test came back positive, so I’m headed to a rheumatologist in December. It doesn’t mean I have RA, but it does mean my body is fighting something. Hopefully, my body will have had time to heal by then, and the result will be more accurate.

Also: Filling in the paperwork for my visit to the rheumatologist makes my hands and arms hurt… *sigh*

~ I’ve been working on a 31 day series (thank you, Nester) entitled “31 Days to Peace – finding inner peace through anxiety and panic attacks“. I’ve shared my story on my struggle with panic attacks before, but I’m digging in more, in hopes of helping those who struggle with them, and for helping those who don’t to understand them more.

31-days-to-peace

The gist of it is this:

For those who have never dealt with constant anxiety or panic attacks, these posts will, hopefully, serve as a catalyst for understanding and compassion. Before I had one (or knew I had one), I was clueless as to what they were, much less, how they felt. Like childbirth, it’s hard to explain.

For those who have experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks, my hope is that you will realize that there is no shame to these feelings, and that there is hope for healing and peace.

You can keep up with the series by bookmarking this page.

~ Yesterday, my neighbor surprised me with a nail polish that she had seen me ‘like’ on Pinterest.

essie demure vix Essie Demure Vixen

It is one of my most favorite colors ever! And it is perfect for fall.

My other current makeup favs are:

Rimmel London Lasting Finish By Kate Lipstick 03 – a gorgeous neutral!

and
MAC Blot powder (pressed)

It’s expensive, but worth it. Also: I’m convinced that it equals out the same as the cheap brands because I rarely need to touch it up. (And if I do, it’s a tiny dab.)

mac blot powder medium

So what about you? What have you been up to???

*yes – those makeup links are affiliate links  :)

12 Years Ago, Tonight

20121013-183810.jpg

12 yrs ago tonight, I was waiting for her arrival.

I slept on the floor, by an open window (in Wisconsin!!), I was so hot and nervous.

I adore her more every day. ❤

(other posts about her arrival: The Day I Became a Mother and  A Birth and Rebirth)

What good is blogging?

Tonight I got sucked down a rabbit hole that placed me smack in the middle of my old blog posts.

Those journeys always start so innocently, don’t they?

All I wanted to do was check for broken links. But alas, I found myself thrust back into a different world that seems both a million years ago and yet, a mere second ago.

I’m not the first person to ponder the point of blogging, or what, if  any, value there is to it. Many have written about it way more eloquently than I will, but I couldn’t help but try to capture a bit of what I’m feeling right now.

Vulnerable: I was surprised by the rawness and openness that I had in many of my posts. Many of my posts were (are) soul-searching… seeking meaning and purpose in events that have occurred in my life. It’s hard to look over those sorts of things and not instinctively touch the spot where the wound has healed, no matter how invisible or ugly the scar.

Guilt: Blogging provides only a snapshot of a person’s life. As I read through some of those old posts, I cringed at the picture I portrayed of certain aspects of my life and the stories that weren’t being told.

Pressure: I always want to be moving forward and improving at the things that are important to me. Writing is one of those things. Yet, I sometimes put so much pressure on myself to write the next great blog post (heh) that no words come. I have a sheet filled with blog post topics and ideas. Dozens of unfinished drafts saved. I walk around composing blog posts in my head only to draw a blank when face-to-face with my monitor.

Comforted: While there are pieces missing on some levels, blogging adds a layer of richness to the legacy that we each have. While it may not be printed in a book that’s sitting on my shelf, the fact that I am leaving a trail of something that my children can one day read and, hopefully, understand me, and thus themselves more, brings me great comfort.

Grateful: I’ve had three computers die since I started blogging. I’ve lost hundreds of photos each time (excuse me while I try not to vomit at that thought…) Because I blog and share snippets of my life via photos, many of those photos were not gone forever. As I looked over photos I hadn’t seen in several years, I was flooded by the memories encapsulated within each image.

Encouraged: To be able to look back over experiences I’ve had and see how I grew from each is pretty amazing. (Along with that, I’m so grateful that I’ve written so much of these things down, because apparently, I have the worst memory ever. And who couldn’t use a reminder of how far they’ve come, once in awhile?)

All of these feelings flooded me tonight and it was important for me to sift through them and embrace each and every one.

Blogging has caused me to examine myself more. To see the importance in the stories that fill my life. To be grateful for all of the days I’ve had with my children, loved ones and friends, no matter how perfect or painful.

Is there value in blogging? Heck yeah.

(PS – if you dare venture back through my archives, be warned: while there is quite a bit of depth, there is also a lot of fluff. Oh, and if you see broken links, please let me know. I’d prefer to not have to head down the rabbit hole on a daily basis)

A Cautionary Tale: afterward

As I mentioned in my comment on the last post I had planned on doing a follow up to it, to sort of wrap things up.

I  figured that there would be questions and comments that would need to be addressed. I didn’t know how my posts would be received.

I hit “publish” and then held my breath.

The feedback immediately started via comments, emails, dms, tweets.

Thanking me.

Because apparently, a lot of people have experienced the same sort of tale or their own personal BackStreet, and didn’t know if or how to express it. They saw themselves in my tale.

Since I hit publish, I’ve learned and been reminded of many things.

If I’ve learned one thing about the internet (and thank you Jesus for the fact that there is more to it than this) it’s that people do not like to hear things that they disagree with, don’t understand, find unbelievable or haven’t experienced.

No matter how I shared this, there would be people who wouldn’t like it.

I was mean for writing what I did.
wimp for not naming names and “setting it up so that it would be done in comments“.
Even the style I used to tell my tale was criticized.

But all I heard from those responses was: I didn’t really read your post.

Because it wasn’t about outing people. It wasn’t about being mean. It wasn’t about bringing someone down. There are at least 50 bajillion more effective ways I could have written my post if that had been my goal.

It was telling a tale that others obviously needed to hear.

And hear it, they did. Over and over and over again, people opened up and shared their own stories, as we shared a collective exhale.

So instead of wrapping this up in a nice and tidy package and storing it away, I’m crafting a couple of  posts that deal with some of the general feedback I received: ie: what’s appropriate vs what’s not; wearing masks; the truth about our new transparency.

You know — light, fluffy reading.

image credit

Things to Come

As you may have noticed, Modern Media Mom has been sitting quietly for the last several months. The last actual post I wrote was a “Happy New Year” post.

Not a good thing for a site which touts itself as being a resource for up-to-date tech news. Just sayin’…

While this site has sat silent, I’ve done a lot of thinking about how to expand it to make it even more useful for families and individuals looking to use technology to simplify their hectic lives.

It’s become more important than ever for me to do this in my own life, as it has changed dramatically in the time that I’ve been away. Technology is becoming even more central to my day-to-day life as I prepare for some big personal and professional changes.

Therefore, while my posts will continue to be informative, there will also be more of a personal element to the posts, as many of the things will be tips and ideas that my family and I will have tried out. They won’t just be tips on how to use sites you’ve never heard of, but tips on how to use sites and apps you already use in a different way.

I look forward to sharing these things with you, and I hope that you find them as helpful as I have.

As always, I want to make each of you a part of this site; if you have tips and tricks I’m happy to share them with readers.

photo credit