Muffin begins to think about the pool

As the hot like the surface of the sun warm weather suffocates settles in over middle Tennessee, I am quickly realizing that my maternity bathing suit – while cute as all-get-out last summer when I was pregnant, is not gonna cut it this year.

So, I have begun the harrowing pursuit of {cue horror music and screaming} The Perfect Suit.

Let’s look at some of my finds, shall we?

1) This just isn’t working for me. I don’t know if it’s the front pocket? The overall straps? The faux men’s underwear opening??

Or maybe it’s THE! ENTIRE! THING!

overall swimsuit

2) There aren’t enough stupid pills in the world to convince me to wear this:

cutout swimsuit

3) This looks like something Ali G/Borat would wear. I feel gross just looking at it.

I’ll be back after my eyes stop bleeding.

plunging swimsuit

4) I think the beach is a scary enough place – what with the jellyfish and the sharks and the thongs. I don’t want to compound it and give little children nightmares.

polka dot

5) This is gorgeous. Perfect. Slenderizing. Love it.

favorite suit

It’s also 350 freakin’ dollars!!! I haven’t spent that much on all of the swimsuits I’ve had since I was 2 years old combined. My husband would lock me up for sure.

Since the suit I found is equivalent to 2 days worth of gas, my search continues. I’m hoping to find something before the pool is drained for the winter.


  1. http://Megan%20(FriedOkra) says

    That last one IS really cute. Surely there’s a “cheap knockoff” of it somewhere!?

  2. http://Michelle%20Smiles says

    I detest swim suit shopping…but my favorite site (got a suit I loved last year before my butt got knocked up – and I never love a swim suit) is this one: Not cheap but under $100 – robbery what they charge for suits these days. Good luck!

  3. http://Mrs.%20Fussy%20Fussypants says

    I must have that suit!

  4. http://Karla says

    *Wynner – thanks for the link; I had to delete and repost your comment because the link didn’t wrap

    This ones similar no? It’s on sale too! Although still more than $100,at least it’s a bit cheaper! x

  5. http://HRH says

    Very cute suit. I think Land’s End has one that is close to that too.

  6. http://Dawn%20@%20Coming%20to%20a%20Nursery%20Near%20You says

    I agree, the last one is cute. However, why would you want to GO to the beach and see all these suits on other people who don’t belong in them but don’t have the presence of mind to realize that? LOL

  7. http://To%20Think%20is%20to%20Create says

    I’m kindof offended that you used my picture to model those suits…

  8. http://catnip says

    That last suit is adorable! I just bought my first skirted suit. It was necessary. sigh. It’s cute – but skirted makes me feel old. Bonus though – 50% off!

  9. http://remodelingthislife says

    I totally thought it was going to be a pic of a real person with really bad muffin top in a bikini :)

    I love the red suit!! *sigh*

    I just scored a sweet tankini from Tommy Hilfiger outlet for $24. Super flattering.

  10. http://The%20Flip%20Flop%20Mamma! says

    Love that last suit! But seriously, people pay $350 for a swimming suit?? Holy Cow!!!

  11. http://Elizabeth says

    hey, i was at GAP BODY yesterday and they have very similar flattering styles for our post-baby bodies. they didn’t have my size but if they did, i would’ve tried one on and bought it probably. :-) Oh, and GAP Body is reasonable on the pocketbook. :-)

  12. http://Kelly%20@%20Love%20Well says

    Have you tried Lands End and LL Bean? They both have great swimsuits and (somewhat) reasonable prices.

    And if you lean in close here, I’ll tell you that I found a swimsuit for my five-months-post-baby body at … Sam’s Club. It’s a Speedo tankini, and it’s adorable and it cost me $26.

  13. http://megs says

    I hate swimsuit shopping too, and like you, my maternity swimsuit from last year was not going to cut it. So I braved the stores, and finally after hearing about a sale at a department store (weeks later) got lucky. There was ONE suit that fit right, they a actually had my size AND it was really cute. Mission Accomplished! Hopefully it will last me a loooong time, so I can put off the swimsuit buying process for as long as possible!

  14. http://Darla says

    Try Lands End. They are between 59 and 89 and have a “try it on” mode where you can view your muffin in it’s actual shape. ;)

  15. http://Vera says

    Here’s a cute, similarly retro suit (they have others in other colors – but I love this one!);jsessionid=53A25326886A873E2E9EF94226D2AAEE.app11-node4?itemdescription=true&itemCount=60&id=14983068&parentid=W_APP_SWIMWEAR&sortProperties=&navCount=112&navAction=poppushpush&color=

    It’s still $100 though.

    By the way, PLEASE don’t tell me I can’t wear my maternity suit from TWO years ago when I was pregnant!!! *sigh*

  16. http://Soliloquy says

    Are you KIDDING me??

    The muffin KILLS me.

    Darling – you looked delicious in every single one!!!

  17. http://Cyndy says

    I just have to say, “Land’s End” again. I spent $100 last year on a cute tankini top and skirted bottom. They are VERY well made and I won’t need to shop for a suit again for a good long while. So if you amortorize the cost of the suit over, say, five years it was really only $20! (How’s that for rationalizing?!)

  18. http://Jenn says

    I was looking for suits this morning – had to stop b/c it was way too depressing. I will have to check out some of these links. I hope “muffin” finds a cute suite. Post a pic when she does.

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