It could have been worse

This past week, while my daughter was off from school, I spent the entire week feeling lousy. Head throbbing and pounding, coughing and hacking. Not a glamorous illness, to be sure. (And poor thing, she was sick too…)

So, when I drove her to school this morning and watched her walk off, not only did my head hurt, but my heart hurt too. I felt like my extra time with her this week had been totally thwarted. The week went by without much of anything going on. I felt too lousy to read a bunch of stories from morning to night, to do crafts everyday or go for walks together… stuff I had been looking forward to doing with her for weeks. (although we did make it to the library one day and to visit daddy at work on Friday)

The thing with her is, she is content to just sit and draw and read and watch some TV on her own. She’s social, but she is also quite happy hanging out by herself.

So, I am sure that in her mind, this past week was a wonderful week of relaxing and hanging out

But, truth be told… I miss my girl.

For every moment of her life, up until the time she started kindergarten this year, she was with me. Now, between school and me working some evenings, my time with her is so severely hacked at that I feel this spot in my heart longing for her.

I was talking with Sean the other night about this and how I want some uninterrupted time with her. Especially before the new baby is born.

I can think of a million and one things to do with her. But I think ultimately, what she and I both want is just time to BE together – giggling, holding hands and reconnecting. Without the rush or interruption of anything else.

I guess our week off together could have been worse. We at least had time to lay in bed together snuggling – coughing, snotty noses and all.

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Comments

  1. Oh, Karla. I felt your heart on this post. Praying you find some special time just for you and her unhampered by the outside world or sickness!

  2. Terri @ In His Hands says:

    Some of my favorite memories with my son are the two of us just hanging together in bed.
    Praying for you to feel better—I feel like I’m getting what you have.

  3. This made my heart hurt. But really, really, my mom worked full-time from the time I was 6 months on AND got her BA during that time and I always felt very well loved by her. Your girl will feel well-loved, too.

  4. Oh, you sweet girl. Don’t you know that life can’t be perfect when Mom is sick? It sounds to me like it was all OK with her. Any little girl who is happy being by herself is an OK child. You’re OK. You’re a good mommy, she knows you were sick and you can be sure that she knows you did your very best to make her break special.

    Give yourself a break now, Karla. OK? Just give yourself a little time to get over this and feel OK about yourself because believe me, you’re doing just fine on the mommy front.

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