If only we could bottle that sort of compassion

This morning, I started a post to answer some more of the questions I begged and begged for and have only just begun to answer asked of me. It is turning in to a much longer post than I imagined… this particular question struck a chord with me and for some reason I can not manage even an inkling of pithiness in my answer. I knew I wasn’t going to get it done in time to post before everyone went to bed, but I still plugged away.

I went to pick up my daughter from school and by the time we were home, I knew what I needed to write.

This past Saturday, Abigael went to a birthday party. When we arrived, I noticed the lack of cars and children being dropped off. As I walked her up to the door, it became apparent that she was the only other child there. It was a sad sort of affair, this child and her parents wanting to celebrate their child’s birth. It’s not that there is anything wrong with a small get-together. That is how all of our children’s birthdays have been. But in this case, that was not the plan. Invitations were handed out to all of the children in the class. Yet only one child was there for it.

I was so saddened by this. I don’t know why if affected me the way that it did. My heart tends to gravitate towards the loners, the last-choice-for-the-game sort of children. Even though I ran with the popular crowd in school, I hated the thought of anyone being left out.

Apparently, my daughter’s heart does too.

When she got in the car, she handed me a thank you card from the girl and her mother. It was apparent how much it meant to them that Abigael took the time to go. It practically screamed loneliness. I asked her about this little girl, and if she has any friends, and Abbie said just her and K (a little boy in the class).

Abbie has a lot of friends. I don’t think she realizes (maybe it just doesn’t matter?) that she is, in actuality, a popular child. I’ve observed her and I see how everyone brightens when she is around. They are drawn to her; they clamor for her attention. Yet, she has no need for their approval. It simply does not affect her. She merely wants to enjoy herself and the others around her.

If only we could all be that way.


  1. That is so sad! Makes me wonder how many of those parents even bothered to RSVP. Also what ticks me off is that some schools have rules about giving invites to everyone in the class if you are handing them out at school.

    Well how much worse would it feel to a young child to KNOW that you gave invites to EVERYONE in the class and only one person showed up!!

  2. Melissa @ The Inspired Room says

    Oh my, you have touched on a nerve, this is one thing that tears my heart out. I’ve always taught my kids the importance of being a friend to everyone. This would break my heart. I went to NYC with my daughter’s Christian high school choir last month. While we were there I saw a teenage boy from the group sitting by himself at dinner. I pointed him out to my daughter and pretty soon she and several of her friends flocked to his table to join him. If only more moms would teach their kids to be a friend to the lonely. Such a sad thing to see kids without friends.


  3. Momma Mary says

    Terrible!! I’d bet you’re glad you went. I hope that your daughter will see how much it meant that she was there.

    I too, wonder, how many of those parents RSVP’d that they wouldn’t be coming? That is a peeve of mine. People who don’t give you an answer. It’s hard to plan when you don’t know if 3 or 300 are showing up.

  4. That lady with 6 daughters says

    I think it takes all kinds of people to make the world go around, and you & your daughter have a gift of compassion. She’s lucky to have you for a mamma, and that little girl is lucky to have Abbie for a friend. A friend like that can really help someone blossom. It sounds like you’re raising your daughter to see the good in others and that is a blessing, too. Keep it up!

  5. Oh, Karla. This broke my heart.

  6. That just hurts my heart.
    At least A was there. Just imagine.
    RSVP’g has sort of flown out the window and it kills me.
    With you as a mom, how could she be anything other than a compassionate darling?

  7. I am a lot like you. Turns out, my child is, too.

    Your little girl really made that child’s birthday special. She will remember her kindness and real friendship forever. Bless you for being the example.

  8. Thank you for teaching Abbie to have a heart for others. I know that with Abbie being at that precious little girl’s party that showed her true friendship and she will always remember that.

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